On Looking For a Church and/or Ministry

For those considering a new

• church

• faith-based job, or

• job in a church

…we need to be aware of dynamics that can limit discernment & bring a lot of future pain. I have resigned from two churches and both transitions were very difficult. My wife and I are still on the winding path to healing, which has meant navigating rough terrain: grief, anger, mistrust, betrayal, anxiety, etc. What follows are not tips from an expert but reflections from a pastor seeking to understand our own story, a story that we’ve learned shares similar threads with many others.

Perhaps the most common way of deciding on a new job or church is the “alignment” approach. This approach by an individual or family leads with questions like, “does this job align with my gifts?” or, “does this church align with our values?” At its best, it prioritizes the importance of theological/vocational fit within a job or organization, as well as the necessary work of learning a community’s core beliefs, and whether those beliefs match yours to a degree you’re comfortable with. At worst, this approach reduces a prospective place or role to a consumer good with questions like, “does this job pay well and move me ahead in my career?” or, “does this church offer the style of teaching & worship I like on Sundays?”

While alignment is a necessary component, based on my own past missteps, this approach to finding a job or church by itself is wholly inadequate. In learning from our mistakes and hearing from countless others over the years, the dangers are clear. The alignment approach often unwittingly accepts short-term gratification for long-term heartache. We need another, more thorough paradigm for making important decisions regarding church or employment. 

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I offer here an alternate approach as a corrective, but I should warn: it isn’t streamlined or efficient. Instead of reducing a search process to concerns of fit or preference, individuals or families making decisions about a new job or church need to ask this vital question: what is the history I’m walking into?

We might call this the Culture-Integrity (C-I) approach. It does not negate the need for alignment but insists on the spiritual assessment of culture (past and present), which makes or breaks an organization as a place worth investing in. I say ‘spiritual’ assessment because the heart, in biblical terms, is the spiritual center (Prov. 4:23). It is the place where integrity or duplicity dwells, where character is formed in Christ or malformed by sin. The culture of an organization, then, is a reflection of the spiritual formation of its members, and in particular, its leaders. It includes many other factors of course, such as learned intimacy, ethnicity, families of origin, and unattended emotional wounds from childhood. These all shape a culture in many ways but the presence (or absence) of character sets the trajectory.

In searching for a job, remember: good job + bad culture = bad job. 

In searching for a church, remember: great Sunday service + aligned beliefs ≠ good culture.

Now, we should acknowledge at the outset a couple inherent challenges. If you are leading your search for a job or church with the question, “what is the history I’m walking into?”—and I think you should— you’re also soon left asking: “who do I need to hear from?” and, “who has the time to find out?” We’ll get to this. 

The C-I approach may sound impossible or like a luxury of time few can afford. The interview process for jobs and churches aren’t set up this way. Both sides have desired timelines for a decision. Both parties invariably put their best face forward. As with your job references, an organization will also provide allied endorsers to prospective members or hires who almost always reinforce the positive perception it wants you to have. The worthy and critical challenge of this approach, then, is to circumvent the status quo in order to get as accurate a picture as possible of the organization’s norms & history. These norms include more unspoken than spoken patterns that undergird relationships. We must heed the adage of culture by Ralph Linton: “The last thing a fish is to discover is water.”

If you want to save yourself from future heartache, you have to do your homework. The pitfalls are not theoretical. They’re lived and personal for my family and many others we know. Far too often we choose a workplace or a church for its allure and benefits rather than its substance. Many places that harbor abuse and churn-out-burnout present really well—and “humbly”! Every organization is healthy today according to its own judgment! Or, we commonly hear, “not perfect but no place is!” The landscape for gauging integrity is a maze when so many organizations and leaders who lack health adopt the language of health to project an image. The cost of these decisions for families can be devastating even when made with the best of intentions. The point is not to feel undue pressure or shame; most of us have simply done the best we can. Rather, the invitation moving forward is to practice greater discernment in a time when it is needed more than ever.

Here are some principles and strategies that may help you in your search, from those of us who have faced the furnace of harmful culture in a faith-based setting.

Time is on your side. One of the hardest tensions to navigate may be between your excitement for something new that aligns well…and the patient, tedious effort required to discern the culture of a prospective workplace or church. It is always better to delay the gratification of ‘landing’ somewhere in hopes to extend the blessing of landing somewhere good, where your family can actually settle.

Be willing to investigate. It’s totally appropriate to ask directly first. Inquire about turnover among staff, non-staff leadership, and general members (if a church) in the last 5-10 years. Then listen to the response. An organization with integrity will gladly answer this because they may have little to hide or they’ve been humbled and openly share about their repentance. An untrustworthy church or workplace will edit out its failures, “redeem” them as a badge of growth, or confidently blame other people for problems. This is where the waters can get murky. Part of your investigation might require you to contact former staff or leaders. We learned this the hard way during interviews—pastors, staff, or leaders (who we didn’t contact) that resigned and left or stepped down were either not mentioned at all or swiftly in passing. A status-quo search process says, “it’s none of your business.” The C-I approach says it’s absolutely your business.

Listen to your body. Our anatomy carries its own inner sense of wisdom. It is important to pay attention to our bodies when we are with new people or in new places. As relational beings we absorb one another’s presence like sponges, and our bodies help us discern what we are absorbing. They can alert us of “red flags.” We know of a Christian organization where nearly half the staff fell ill with various serious ailments due to the culture. My wife and I visited a church for a few weeks and her autoimmune disease symptoms flared up every time she sat in the sanctuary. That’s never happened in our current church. We’ve met with pastors over the years and felt ‘gut’ unease or ‘on guard’ in their presence; sometimes we dismissed those early physical warnings to our detriment.

Don’t assign virtue to loyalty. An organization that merits your suspicion says, “look at our faithful constituents who’ve stuck with us through thick and thin.” Loyalty is notoriously misinterpreted as a sign of health. Communities that over-prize loyalty are always dividing the sheep from the goats, the compliers from the “agitators,” and subsequently manufacture abuse. An organization with integrity may produce faithful membership but it never weaponizes loyalty. Instead, it embodies a soul-hospitality that amplifies the otherness of every voice, including the voice of dissent. It extends to people their holy agency and freedom. It draws out true and beautiful diversity. It gives away (rather than consolidates) power as a spiritual and communal discipline.

Engage your story. Just as you must understand the organization’s story, also ask yourselves: what is the history I’m carrying into this job or church? You may have positive or negative assumptions about a place based on background. You may deeply struggle to trust or you may over-trust by default. Certain themes from your story may cause you to project goodness onto an organization (danger!) or reveal deep cynicism that ostracizes you from pretty much everyone (danger!). Life circumstances may invoke an intense desire for relief or something better, which can incline you to minimize concerns about a new opportunity. Whatever they are, learn your inner “scripts” before you invest in the next place.

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Whatever you decide and wherever you land, God goes before you. That doesn’t mean He leads us into disaster like some kind of cruel trap when the place turns out bad. In my experience, it’s meant that He is with us as an unyielding Ally wherever we go and in whatever we choose. We were never coerced. We’ve certainly asked “why?” in moments of darkness or forsakenness, but for every unanswered cry we’ve also received innumerable affirmations from God. Both the beautiful places full of blessing and the barren ones shrouded in wounded mystery bear His presence, the abiding and gentle Voice that shepherds us home.

Source: enterphoto